- “When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” Thich Nhat Hanh
- “You will manage to keep a woman in love with you, only for as long as you can keep her in love with the person she becomes when she is with you.” C. JoyBell C.
- “Being in a relationship means “relating,” and the definition of that is to “establish or demonstrate a connection.” In order to do that you have to be fully present. Are you?” Ora Nadrich, Are You Fully Present in Your Relationship or Marriage?
- “One of the most intriguing pieces of research we came across was a recent small study that found women tend to be more attracted to men who are high in mindfulness, which is the ability to be fully present without judging the difficult thoughts and emotions that arise.” Shana Lebowitz, Mindful men are more attractive to women
- “As men we can have a difficult relationship with our feelings. From a young age we’re often taught to buck up, that being manly means being stoic. Then when we are older and experience emotion, we don’t recognize it, don’t know what to do with it, don’t know how to channel it in a healthy direction. Being fully present emotionally means being able to recognize and honor your feelings, being able to experience them fully without getting uncomfortable, and then directing the energy from your emotions into constructive action.Many problems men face personally stem from not being emotionally present. Take the Nice Guy. We’ve talked about him before. He’s the guy that everyone steps on. He’s constantly seeking the approval of others and never puts himself first. Consequently, he ends up dejected and bitter. Part of the Nice Guy’s problem is his discomfort with his own anger. He’s afraid of it. He can never say “I’m angry.” The Nice Guy doesn’t know how to be fully present in his anger when he’s taken advantage of, so he does whatever he can to bury and suppress his resentment. This only leads to depression, passive-aggressive behavior, or an eventual emotional blow-up, none of which are very constructive ways to navigate life.
Becoming emotionally present is imperative for healthy relationships. One of the biggest complaints from women about relationships is that their men aren’t emotionally present. What does it mean to be emotionally present in a relationship? Well, first, it means being present with your own emotions which enables you to express what you feel to your partner, whether it be love or disappointment. It means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This need not involve becoming a sensitive pony-tail guy and crying at Lifetime movies. It simply means being able to articulate what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it.
The second part of being emotionally present in a relationship entails being comfortable and present in your woman’s emotions. Women want men to be the rock in a relationship. They want to know that they can unload anything on their man- anger, frustration, or sadness- without him getting uncomfortable or upset himself. Instead of reacting, women want their man to remain steadfast while empathizing with and anchoring them during their difficult time.” Being Fully Present As a Man (2010) by Brett & Kate McKay, The Art of Manliness