Negative Self Talk and Beliefs, Body Image, Health of the Body and the Mind

    1. “You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” Amy Bloom
    2. “There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
    3. “The human body is the best work of art.” Jess C. Scott
    4. “A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement” Jess C. Scott
    5. “Women who love themselves are threatening; but men who love real women, more so.” Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
    6. “Sadly, the signals that allow men and women to find the partners who most please them are scrambled by the sexual insecurity initiated by beauty thinking. A woman who is self-conscious can’t relax to let her sensuality come into play. If she is hungry she will be tense. If she is “done up” she will be on the alert for her reflection in his eyes. If she is ashamed of her body, its movement will be stilled. If she does not feel entitled to claim attention, she will not demand that airspace to shine in. If his field of vision has been boxed in by “beauty”–a box continually shrinking–he simply will not see her, his real love, standing right before him.” Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
    7. “A consequence of female self-love is that the woman grows convinced of social worth. Her love for her body will be unqualified, which is the basis of female identification. If a woman loves her own body, she doesn’t grudge what other women do with theirs; if she loves femaleness, she champions its rights. It’s true what they say about women: Women are insatiable. We aregreedy. Our appetites do need to be controlled if things are to stay in place. If the world were ours too, if we believed we could get away with it, we would ask for more love, more sex, more money, more commitment to children, more food, more care. These sexual, emotional, and physical demands would begin to extend to social demands: payment for care of the elderly, parental leave, childcare, etc. The force of female desire would be so great that society would truly have to reckon with what women want, in bed and in the world.” Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
    8. “Whatever is deeply, essentially female–the life in a woman’s expression, the feel of her flesh, the shape of her breasts, the transformations after childbirth of her skin–is being reclassified as ugly, and ugliness as disease. These qualities are about an intensification of female power, which explains why they are being recast as a diminution of power. At least a third of a woman’s life is marked with aging; about a third of her body is made of fat. Both symbols are being transformed into operable condition–so that women will only feel healthy if we are two thirds of the women we could be. How can an “ideal” be about women if it is defined as how much of a female sexual characteristic does not exist on the woman’s body, and how much of a female life does not show on her face?” Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
    9. “We do not have to spend money and go hungry and struggle and study to become sensual; we always were. We need not believe we must somehow earn good erotic care; we always deserved it.
      Femaleness and its sexuality are beautiful. Women have long secretly suspected as much. In that sexuality, women are physically beautiful already; superb; breathtaking.
      Many, many men see this way too. A man who wants to define himself as a real lover of women admires what shows of her past on a woman’s face, before she ever saw him, and the adventures and stresses that her body has undergone, the scars of trauma, the changes of childbirth, her distinguishing characteristics, the light is her expression. The number of men who already see in this way is far greater than the arbiters of mass culture would lead us to believe, since the story they need to tell ends with the opposite moral.” Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
    10. “To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.” Simone de Beauvoir
    11. “You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself. (p. 84)” Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything
    12. “When you believe without knowing you believe that you are damaged at your core, you also believe that you need to hide that damage for anyone to love you. You walk around ashamed of being yourself. You try hard to make up for the way you look, walk, feel. Decisions are agonizing because if you, the person who makes the decision, is damaged, then how can you trust what you decide? You doubt your own impulses so you become masterful at looking outside yourself for comfort. You become an expert at finding experts and programs, at striving and trying hard and then harder to change yourself, but this process only reaffirms what you already believe about yourself — that your needs and choices cannot be trusted, and left to your own devices you are out of control (p.82-83)” Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything
    13. “HOW do you define a word without concrete meaning? To each his own, the saying goes, so
      WHY push to attain an ideal state of being that no two random people will agree is
      WHERE you want to be? Faultless. Finished. Incomparable. People can never be these, and anyway,
      WHEN did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person
      WHO lives inside your skin? The outside belongs to others. Only you should decide for you-
      WHAT is perfect.” Ellen Hopkins, Perfect
    14. “Every woman knows that, regardless of all her other achievements, she is a failure if she is not beautiful.” Germaine Greer, The Whole Woman
    15. “Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable. Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you. It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.” Golda Poretsky
    16. “Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have…undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It’s because he doesn’t care! He’s in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery. I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese, I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.” Elizabeth Gilbert
    17. “We were free of self-judgment when we were babies, and yet at some point, we developed a sensitivity that taught us to react with self-consciousness and negative self-talk.” Elaina Marie, Happiness is Overrated – Live the Inspired Life Instead
    18. “The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path.” Miya Yamanouchi
    19. “You need to be your own cheer squad not your own worst enemy.” Miya Yamanouchi, Embrace Your Sexual Self: A Practical Guide for Women
    20. “If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated.” Victoria Moran, Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty
    21. “Self-talk reflects your innermost feelings.” Asa Don Brown
    22. “Your self-talk is the channel of behavior change” Gino Norris
    23. “Try to come to a place where you accept your own imperfections. Where it’s okay to be less than perfect. Because you are less than perfect; it‟s the human condition. And that’s okay!” Danu Morrigan, You’re Not Crazy – It’s Your Mother! Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
    24. “You don’t need to wait for someone else to notice your talents before nourishing them. You don’t need others to accept you to feel accepted. You don’t need to wait. You can begin, at any moment, to work on noticing, nourishing, and accepting yourself. You can work on being a better friend to your reflection. You can start listening to yourself like you wish other people would. You can become curious about who you are. You can begin to learn the language of your mind and body so that you can decode it, understand it, speak it. You can work on understanding yourself instead of always trying to make yourself into someone else.” Vironika Tugaleva, The Art of Talking to Yourself
    25. “Your pain is trying to tell you something. It is not an accident, a curse, or an inconvenience. Pain is a form of self-communication.” Vironika Tugaleva
    26. “We have to give our brain permission to search for, and find, answers. This permission comes in the form we talk to ourselves.” Sam Owen, Resilient Me: How to Worry Less and Achieve More
    27. “Everything you attract into your life is a reflection of the story you believe and keep telling yourself.” Farshad Asl
    28. “No one is a failure until that is the only definition of themselves that they are willing to see within.” Srividya Srinivasan
    29. “Negative self-talk will not change your habitual thinking; it will only make you feel bad and start to solidify a lack of self-esteem which will invariably crush developing leadership attributes. Few things are more harmful than negative self-talk.” Chris Ewing, Living Your Leadership: Grow Intentionally, Thrive with Integrity, and Serve Humbly
    30. “Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.” Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — And Start Standing Up for Yourself
    31. “Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.” Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — And Start Standing Up for Yourself
    32. “Be mindful of your self-talk. It is a conversation with the universe. You are a being, full of infinite possibilities! Focus your mind with positivity and you will have dictated the direction of your journey, your soul and your being, cascading in infinite abundance.” Angie karan
    33. “But more important than the food I put into my body are thoughts I put into my mind. Thoughts of bitterness like, “I hate her!” Thoughts of despair like, “I’ll never be happy again.” Thoughts of fear like, “I could never do that!” And thoughts of worry, thoughts of greed and thoughts of self-loathing…“I’m so stupid.” A constant diet of these killer thoughts will destroy any of us long before heart burn or cholesterol.” Steve Goodier
    34. “Either you must control your thoughts or the outside forces will control them and be warned that the outside forces usually consist of fears, worries and doubts.” Maddy Malhotra, How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy
    35. “If you repeat your negative memories in your mind and feel self-pity, then YOU are both the abuser and the victim – not those who wronged you in the past. Your present and future will be happier if you take control of your thoughts.” Maddy Malhotra, How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy
    36. “All the thoughts/images in our minds, and all the emotions connected with our thoughts will sooner or later manifest as our reality.” Maddy Malhotra, How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy
    37. “You know what no woman should make time for? Talking shit to herself.
      That body of yours?
      It may be the only one you get in this lifetime, so own it, love it, embrace it. (I say maybe because I’m a futurist and tech is getting pretty advanced.)
      I’m being dead serious. There’s no fucking point in spending time thinking you’re not good enough.
      Take it from someone who’s been through a lot of ups and downs with body image. You’re wasting your precious energy anytime you say anything other than nice things to yourself.
      I still work through my own stuff today and when it comes up I make sure I nip it in the bud real quick because letting insecurity about how I look physically get in the way of my happiness or confidence is a losing game.
      No one wins.
      Not you, not the people you spend time with, not the people you share your energy with.
      The world needs more women who love themselves unconditionally.
      Women who embody confidence.
      Who walk around not giving a fuck about how they “should be” and start playing full out the way that feels authentic in their own form of self-expression.
      I’m a shorty, I’m less than 5 feet, I have braces (temporary), I have permanent stretch marks on my body from gaining weight and losing it.
      I’m no where near what the media would label a perfect woman, who cares!?
      You know what else? I’m sexy as hell.
      So are you sister.
      It’s the differences we all have that make us unique.
      This might sound cliche or whatever but it’s true. Like really, really true!
      Sure there are women out there who are ridiculously gorgeous and we could even say they look “perfect”, but that’s just a projection of our beliefs imbedded in us by the media.
      They are beautiful, no need to discount it.
      It doesn’t mean you’re less beautiful, you’re different.
      We are ALL different.
      Every woman is custom designed by nature.
      We’re short, tall, chubby, fat, skinny, flat, busty, curvy, freckly, pale, tanned, blue, purple, green and who the fuck cares. Because the physical body is so temporary.
      Imagine what image you would create in your mind as a “perfect woman” if you had no media, no celebrities, no models to compare yourself to?
      Think about that for a second.
      Changes things doesn’t it?
      We spend so much time looking at images in the media (including social media) that we forget what’s real.
      I spend time editing photos and doing shoots with my gf’s for fun and pleasure, I’m aware that how we look in photographs is art that can be manipulated and changed.
      How we look in real life is the greatest form of art, and the artist is mother nature.
      How dare you question her masterpiece?
      Treya and Ken Wilber say “I have a body, but I am not my body”. This is the motto I live by.
      My body is a vehicle that houses my soul.
      My soul is who I am and who I have chosen to be in this life.
      It’s how I love, who I am, the people I help, and the path I walk that defines me.
      Not my body.
      My behavior.
      This goes for you too.
      Remind yourself daily that you’re beautiful and perfect as you are and if you want to change, then change.
      No one is stopping you from optimizing yourself, there’s nothing wrong with self improvement, just remember to love yourself how you are along the way.
      Big hugs to my sisters out there.” Sheleana Aiyana, You know what no woman should make time for? Talking shit to herself


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