Power, Control, and Individuality Issues in Relationships and Lois Owning Peter Griffin

    1. “Power and control are two of the most significant issues in any relationship. The more trouble the relationship is facing, the more these power and control issues will come to the surface. The better the relationship is working the less power and control issues will be a problem.
      A really functional “grown-up” relationship will be marked by the lack of emphasis on issues about power or control. Instead, both the partners will feel closely connected (linkage) while maintaining a strong sense of individuality and independence within the relationship. This is how relationships are meant to be…” Power control and individuality issues in relationships
    2. “If you have control over yourself, you have no desire to control others.” Miya Yamanouchi, Embrace Your Sexual Self: A Practical Guide for Women
    3. “True love is built on free will and free choice, not control and manipulation.” Ken Poirot
    4. “Control and manipulation are not love; the outcome is a life of imprisonment ultimately leading to deep-rooted feelings of resentment.” Ken Poirot
    5. “The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.” Mahatma Gandhi
    6. “Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts. Perhaps the fear of a loss of power.” John Steinbeck
    7. “make an agreement to exercise mutual control over each other. The unspoken pact between them is, “It’s my job to make you happy, and your job to make me happy. And the best way to get you to work on my life is to act miserable. The more miserable I am, the more you will have to try to make me feel better.” Powerless people use various tactics, such as getting upset, withdrawing, nagging, ridiculing, pouting, crying, or getting angry, to pressure, manipulate, and punish one another into keeping this pact. However, this ongoing power play does nothing to make them happy and mitigate their anxiety in the long term. In fact, their anxiety only escalates by continually affirming that they are not actually powerful. Any sense of love and safety they feel by gaining or surrendering control is tenuous and fleeting. A relational bond built on mutual control simply cannot produce anything remotely like safety, love, or trust. It can only produce more fear, pain, distrust, punishment, and misery. And when taken to an extreme, it produces things like domestic violence.” Danny Silk, Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication And Boundaries

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