“There are multiple steps to turn anger from something destructive to something constructive. The first place to start is to separate out the trigger of our anger from the cause of our anger and recognize them as two separate things. The trigger is the event that happened that makes a person angry. The cause, however, is usually something much deeper. It is the belief that we hold about the event that happened that makes us angry.” Damon M. Constantinides, Empowerment Through Anger: The Tools of Nonviolent Communication
“You can feel it when it hits you. Your face flushes and your vision narrows. Your heartbeat increases as judgmental thoughts flood your mind. Your anger has been triggered, and you’re about to say or do something that will likely make it worse.
You have an alternative. The Nonviolent Communication process (NVC) teaches that anger serves a specific, life-enriching purpose. It tells you that you’re disconnected from what you value and that your needs are not being met. Rather than managing your anger by suppressing your feelings or blasting someone with your judgments, Marshall Rosenberg shows you how to use anger to discover what you need, and then how to meet your needs in constructive ways.
• People or events may spark your anger but your own judgments are its cause
• Judging others as “wrong” prevents you from connecting with your unmet needs
• Getting clear about your needs helps you identify solutions satisfying to everyone
• Creating strategies focused on meeting your needs transforms anger into positive actions” Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD, The Surprising Purpose of Anger – Beyond Anger Management: Finding the Gift
“Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.” Leo Buscaglia
“Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.” Jim Butcher, White Night
“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.” Plato